Oh my it's been a long while since I've posted! First off... Merry Belated Christmas and Happy New Years! Hope you all had a safe and Christ centered Christmas (unless that's not your jam then I hope Santa was good to you!). Mine was good, got to be with my family, sang in church, it was a really pretty Christmas medley. I made Swig sugar cookies (if you've never been to SWIG you've got to fix yourself... it's one of the best things!) and let me tell you... THEY WERE SO GOSH DARN DELICIOUS! I was honestly surprised that they turned out so well. Not that I lack in cooking abilities but because mock recipes don't usually taste as good as the original.
It's a new semester and that means knew classes and more money gone... for my education! I started out with 14 credits and I was super proud of myself for doing so, especially since I managed to get all of my classes on Monday's and Wednesday's so that I can work. As I mentioned a sentence ago I STARTED with 14.... I am now at 12... What happened was that I had two english major classes, one fun class and my last two general ed classes, Math 1030 and Personal Health and Wellness... First day of school I'm in my Modern American Literature class (with my insane teacher...) and she goes over by five minutes leaving me five minutes to get from the top far side of the LA building to the bottom floor of the science building (it's about a five minute walk). That sounds like no problem to a normal person but someone who suffers from anxiety, it's literally the most stressful thing with the exception of all the other stressful things that go down on a first day. So I hurry to my class and when I go in front the door, I see A) how crowded it is and B) I'm late. So I start pacing by the door, debating whether or not I should go in and my mind begins to race and smack with me with all the bad things that could happen if I walk in that door. My heart races, my breathing becomes a little ragged and trembling like so instead I run to the bathroom and cry for a little bit and decide that I'm going to drop it and take it next semester (which I fully plan on doing).
Again with a new semester that means new changes (I refuse to call them 'goals' I hate that word). By new changes I mean I decided to cut guys off. I got super distracted last semester and my grades paid for it. I was not going to let that happen again. So I if I had any crushes from last semester (that information will remain disclosed) I cut off my petty feelings and focused purely on my school work. I am successful for the first few weeks and then... it happens. An attractive male had caught my interest. He didn't just merely pique my interest no no.... he freaking body slammed me with unwilling attraction. It really wasn't any kind of fair, I tried to not like him but nevertheless here I am, completely infatuated with an individual (who's name will NEVER be released unless by some rare chance in the future that we're together... but like I said.. RARE). This time will be different, I refuse to get distracted, I'm still extremely dedicated to my homework!
In other news... after almost 6 months of searching I finally got a job!! I work for the school-ish... It's all kinds of complicated but it's called "America Reads". I basically go to their office and to another school and tutor elementary kids to read. Teaching isn't my usual scene but kids are. I'm excited to see what this job brings me and I even more excited to more self reliant! I've got practice now for when I'm living alone with my plethora of cats.... I won't really have a plethora... just like two..... with maybe a batch of kittens... maybe a dog.... Get a great dane and call him tiny... or pipsqueak haha... Wow I'm awkward and this is why I'm so single dear readers, not that anyone really reads these... I most do this out of my pleasure haha.. wow okay.
The downfall of my job is that since it is connected to the school I can't work the job into the summer... so I only get to work there for two months, which will help but in April my roommate and I are having a job search party for the summer, since I am staying in Orem...! I'm excited to stay in Orem and work and be independent but at the same time I really wish I could go home but there's literally nothing there. I've got my family, my cat, and a house with it's contents. I have no friends and can I be honest? I hate Manila, it's a small town, people are constantly judging me for being single (which is more aggravating than anything else) and people gossip like we're at a hair salon in the south. It bugs me, granted, there ARE some nice people (there must needs be opposition in ALL things) but overall, I can only stand being there for a few days before I want to start yelling at people... Wow sorry, I did not mean for that get all negative and a little derogatory but it's how I feel. I'm thrilled that my parents and family are doing well there and that they like it!
So like I said I am staying in Orem over the summer and that means this summer I am celebrating my 21st b-day with my roommate but it's okay we're going to have a BLAST!
Last thing I think needs mentioning is the most dreaded holiday of the year... Valentine's Day.... I've disliked the holiday for about 6 years and not because I've been single for every single one of those years. I'm serious, that's not the reason why. I hate it because I think it's stupid to commercialize love. I think it's stupid that we need a holiday as an excuse to show affection to those we care for. I do understand and realize that some people need that holiday and I'm not saying we should ban it because that's not right but I'm explaining my abhorring feelings for it. Anyway, so Church. Valentine's Day. AWKWARD. We're sitting in Relief Society and at the very end the Elder's Quorum comes in, each has a rose in his hand. They crowd in and then they serenade us with "Love One Another" and then they all pass out a rose to a girl. It really was a sweet gesture but man did I feel awkward. My ears were burning and I can only imagine that my face looked the same. Savannah and I have our roses in a vase filled with water so that's good and they are pretty I just really wish I loved flowers but I don't BUT I STILL REALLY APPRECIATE THE ELDER'S QUORUM FOR WHAT THEY DID! I'M NOT HATING ON IT I PROMISE.
Ok I'm done...
Hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day
Hope you have a great President's Day
To UVU students who won't read this... Have fun with no school tomorrow as well.
God Bless You All
~ Allanah
